


Things not done or said...

by liars_dance



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-10
Updated: 2014-01-10
Packaged: 2018-01-08 05:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1128954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liars_dance/pseuds/liars_dance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seems Sean and Viggo have both been thinking too much...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things not done or said...

It had been the same way for years; long periods of normality interspersed with bouts of what? Longing? Yearning? He'd never been able to find a word that seemed to fit how he felt – especially not now. At first it had been regret he'd felt – regret for things not done or said. But then over time, that changed into a simple desire to return to a time and place where things had just felt 'right'. It was strange because Viggo had always preferred to live in the moment, to absorb every single minute of every single day. He'd never been one to regret or to look back – until New Zealand. Until Sean...

Whenever he'd met up with Sean since – and it hadn't been often – there had usually been copious amounts of alcohol involved and too many other people in attendance – and it had been no different tonight. There would be lots of jokes and laughter – especially from Sean it seemed – but it all seemed a bit forced and strained. And they'd never had any time alone – just as it had been tonight. There had been times in New Zealand when they'd been alone; times when they'd talked about anything and everything – like life and hopes and dreams and yes, they'd joked and laughed a lot too. But back then it was different. Theirs was a friendship that had developed quickly and was one of the best things that came of Viggo's time on the other side of the world. But as quickly as it had developed it had begun to fade and opportunities to just sit down with Sean on his own and talk had dwindled almost to zero. They'd lost the ease and familiarity and shared experience now they were back in their own worlds. Of course they were both busy with commitments and family and responsibilities, but whatever the cause, the bonds of their own special fellowship seemed tenuous now, and that Viggo found particularly sad.

Viggo knew he'd be the first to slip away tonight. He didn't have the the will or the energy to even try to out-drink the others or hear any peoples' memories; he just wanted to be alone with his own. And he didn't want to look at Sean and hope he wouldn't be caught doing so by Orlando or Dom or Sean himself. He didn't want to hear Sean's magnificent throaty laugh any more either; a laugh that seemed to be mocking him tonight. But slipping away proved difficult. First Ian had tried to stop him, asking him to stay and chat but Viggo had shook his head and declined. Then Orlando had tried – and Billy, but he'd said no to them all. And then just when he thought he'd made it, there was Sean, who was drunk and still laughing at something he himself or somebody else had said when he caught Viggo at the door. "It were good t'see you, Vig," he'd chuckled and then given him a quick hug and a slap on the back. And although for a moment he looked like he was going to say something else, Sean didn't ask Viggo to stay...

It wasn't until the following morning that Viggo found the scribbled note that Sean must have pushed in his jacket pocket when they'd said goodbye.  


>   
> _I was a coward in New Zealand, Viggo – and I keep on being a coward. But now ts time to stop. There's this old Cat Stevens song called 'If I laugh' – I'd like you to hear it; you'll find it on YouTube. When you've listened to it, call me – please._
> 
> _Sean_  
> 

  
Suddenly Viggo's legs were shaking – and he quickly sat down. "A coward, Sean?" he whispered to himself, staring at the note with the phone number at the bottom. "I doubt it." As Viggo reached for his laptop and cellphone, he found his hands were shaking too. 

\-- [*] -- 

Viggo _had_ listened – and he _had_ called. And now he was sitting in Sean's pristine kitchen having enjoyed a really good dinner prepared by Sean and finishing the last of the wine. Like the old days they'd talked about anything and everything – like life and hopes and dreams and yes, they'd joked and laughed a lot too. But now it was time to move on...

"So, those plans that you didn't use; what were they?"

"I can't remember now," Sean replies.. "Most likely something stupid – which is probably why I didn't use them."

"I doubt that," Viggo murmurs, sipping at his wine. "You tended to think things through as I recall."

Sean shrugs and rolls his eyes. "Oh, yeah, I think things through all right – but that's my problem, Viggo; I think _too_ much. I imagine every possible outcome of every possible course of action and then end up doing nothing. Spontaneity isn't my strongest suit."

"Oh, I dunno," Viggo says with a smile. "You wrote me that note, remember; I'd call that pretty spontaneous."

Sean chuckles and drains his glass. "Yeah – but I wrote it two years ago." He can see the expression of surprise on Viggo's face, so he stands up, taking his empty glass to the sink. "Pathetic, isn't it?" he adds, shaking his head as he starts to load the dishwasher.

"No," Viggo replies, watching the play of Sean's muscles under his shirt as he bends to stack their dinner plates in the racks. "It isn't pathetic to be cautious. Hell, I'm no different. I could've said something ages ago. I have lots of great memories of time spent with you, Sean. I found myself remembering and wanting those times back."

"Yeah?" Sean glances round to see Viggo get up from the table and walk towards him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Viggo steps closer as a mix of regret and hope wells up inside him. "Same reason as you, I guess. I thought I had more to lose by saying something than not saying something. I thought you were one hundred percent straight and that you'd lay me out if I'd touched you. I've spent quite a lot of time regretting that I didn't take the risk – especially as it seemed I'd lost you as a friend anyway."

"No, Vig – never that," Sean murmurs.

"I'm glad." Viggo takes a breath and places his hand on Sean's chest, letting it just rest there. He swears he can feel Sean's heart beating under his palm as they look at each other – and it seems to Viggo that the years between then and now are just melting away. "Y'know, you only had to ask," he whispers, breaking the silence. "In fact, it's _still_ all you need to do."

Sean nods and moistens his lips with the tip of his tongue. "Can I touch you?" he asks softly.

"Yes," Viggo replies, swallowing hard as he holds Sean's gaze. Then he feels a hand on his hip and it feels just so damn right – and then a warm thumb brushes a patch of skin where his shirt has parted company with his pants. It's a sure touch – an unbelievably hot touch that makes him want like he hasn't wanted in a long, long time and Viggo stifles a whimper as Sean moves even closer.

"Can I hold you?"

Viggo nods wordlessly as Sean's other arm snakes round his waist – the movement fluid, confident, skilled – and within seconds, he's backed up against the kitchen countertop with Sean's body pressed up close. He was half hard already – and unless he was very much mistaken, so was Sean. Suddenly the heat and the friction between them was making it hard for him to breathe.

"Can I kiss you?"

Sean's voice is low and raspy near his ear and Viggo shivers in anticipation. "I fucking hope so," he growls, offering his mouth and then losing himself in the heat of Sean's kiss.

\-- [END] -- 


End file.
